Ok, So on this post I am going to talk about my knowledge about domestic adoption and why we did have not decided to pursue domestic adoption at this time. Now before I say anymore I need to say that all the info that I found I found online and my own research. Each state is different about their adoption laws, so please don’t base your opinions off of my knowledge, please go and do your own research. A great site that I go to daily is http://www.adoption.com. I read the adoption forums and have recieved encouragement and knowledge from those who have been there done that. Domestic adoption is basically adopting from the USA. The majority of Domestic adoptions are infant adoptions. How domestic adoption works is that a woman decides to adopt her unborn child instead of raising the child on her own. She can go to an agency and they will help her find a adoptive family. It depends on when she goes to the adoption agency on when an adoptive family gets involved. She could decide early on and the adoptive family might be able to go to the doctors appointments and could even go to the hospital to see the baby born. Or she could decide after the baby is born that she wants to give up the baby and find a family then or have an agency find the family. She could also find a family on her own and not go through an agency. But they will have to hire a lawyer to make all the arrangements. In the state of Illinois the birthmother cannot sign her rights away until 72 hours after the baby is born. It is different in other states so it depends on what state you live in.
Ok so here are the reasons that we have decided not to pursue domestic adoption at this time.
1. The cost. This is the main reason that we haven’t pursued this route. Domestic adoptions can range from $5,000 up to $30,000. If you find the birthmother and use a lawyer thats on the lower end of the spectrum. But if you use and agency the price is on the higher end. From what I have read the average range is $15,000 to $20,000. Just depends. We dont have that money laying around. But their are so many ways that you could raise the money. So if we really wanted to go deeper into debt than we could. But at this time we dont. We have equity in our home to do this but we haven chosen to pay off a few bills first. Domestic adoption is possible, but somestimes people just got to get creative, such as doing fundraisers, home equity loans, plain old loans, or getting help from your family.
2. I forgot the mention that their are different degrees of adoption. You can have a closed adoption, semi open adoption, or open adoptions. A closed adoption is when the birthmother doesnt know the adoptive family and visa versa. Closed adoptions are becoming very rare because birthmothers want to know that their child is being taken care of. Semi-open adoption is when a birthmother might meet the family but decides to not be apart of the childs life. The family might know the birthmothers info but thats about it. An open adoption, becoming very popular these days is when the birthmother chooses the adoptive family and is apart of the childs life. The birthmother might visit the child a few times a year, get pictures and updates from the adoptive family or both. It just depends on how both parties want to do. When we first started looking into domestic adoption we were very leary of having birthmother “pick” us. Adoption agencies give the birthmother a portfolio about the adoptive family and the birthmother chooses the family. We were afraid that we would not be marketable enough. We have since then realized that it all depends on the birthmother, she could like us for any reason. But it does make us nervous still, a little.
3. It could take years to be chosen. Some families are chosen within a few months while others wait years. We want to start a family as soon as possible.
4. What if the birthmother changes her mind and decides to parent? This would be devastaing. So this scares me. She has 72 hours to change her mind. I know that this would be really hard to get through.
So those are a few things that we have thought of. I know that with foster/adopt we are not gauranteed that we will be able to adopt the children that come into our home but right now that is a risk we have to take. I do think that if we do not get a placement within the next year we will pursue domestic adoption. I would love to have a newborn baby:) But for right now we are content on waiting to foster.
Ok so this is the longest post I have done yet. There is SO much more to domestic adoption than what I have talked about here, so go do some research. It might be the right fit for you.
We still havent gotten a call but will have Sweetie for this coming weekend. I am excited. Until next time……