I don’t like saying the words “foster daughter in front of Princess, especially out in public. So 99% of the time I say “our daughter”. Only during times that I have to clarify for professionals, such as a psychiatrist or pediatrician do I say foster daughter, and even then I whisper it. I don’t want her to feel left out in any way. To me and my hubby she is our daughter. To our family she is our daughter. I want her to feel comfortable and secure here. We will be adopting her and she will be our forever daughter. But even if the goal was reunification I would still feel the same way. Any child that comes into our home with be treated like a family member. No matter how long they stay.
I was in foster care twice when I was a kid. When I was nine years old my brother and I were in care for two months and then returned home. Then at fifteen when my mother passed away and no one else could care for me. I stayed in care until I was adopted out by a member of my church family. I still remember when I was in care the second time my foster family would call me their “foster daughter” to everyone they knew. While this statement was accurate, it for some reason hurt my feelings. I just felt left out for some reason. So that is why I do not like to call Princess our foster daughter unless absolutely necessary.