Journey through Foster care and adoption

Journey to completing our family

The Call that Started the Ball February 28, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 6:04 pm

After talking to our Licensing worker I called on a Thursday and left a message with the Domestic Adoption specialist at our agency. She called me back Friday morning during Rick’s therapy sessions. Luckily hubby was there and I was able to step out of the room and talk with the adoption specialist. I told her we were wanting to start the process of a domestic adoption and would like to have more information. She told me about the program a little and about the fee’s. The program is on a sliding scale basis, which is nice and based of our income. Granted it is still a big chunk of change but not thirty thousand dollars big. She told me that she would send out a packet and application in the mail that afternoon. Needless to say  I was hoping I would have it in my hand on Saturday and mail it back first thing Monday morning. Well, that didn’t happen. A week later the packet came in the mail. Yeah!!!!!! I worked on the packet for two days and promptly mailed it back. The packet included the application, a huge brochure of the program and policies and a few other pamphlets. We needed to fill the application out, send in our tax returns, and send in a picture of our family. I emailed the adoption specialist and let her know we were so excited to work with her and the agency. A few days later I was sent a consent form to sign so the adoption specialist could get our foster care records from the foster care department. Then a few days after that we got an email from an intern saying she wanted to set up a time to meet with us on March 4th or 6th. So I am waiting to here back from her. I am hoping it only takes us about three months to do the home study because we have so much already done through our foster care license. So its chugging along. One step at a time.

I have my hands full right now so that makes things easier. I can’t believe I have four kiddos in the house. I will talk more about how Cutie is settling in on my next post. Until next time……

 

New Arrival February 22, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 1:06 am
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Two days ago I got the call that I was both dreading and hoping for at the same time. Our Licensing worker called with a new placement. Our dream placement, a four month old little girl. What could I say? We have just started the process for a domestic adoption and we were pretty settled with the three we have. I knew the call would come when we were all settled down and had our routines down pat. If you would have asked me six months ago I would have been 100% sure and extremely excited. But after she gave me the little one’s info I didn’t know whether to jump for joy or go running for the hills. I did the usual thing and called Hubby to tell him. He immediately said, “So you said yes right?”. Well I was having conflicting feelings. First off, how was this going to effect our chances to adopt. All my adoption worker said was that we needed to keep a “spot” open for a little one. Well, if we were to take this baby girl that would leave us with one spot. So that was fine, but how would the adoption worker take it? We would have an 8yr old, 4 yr old, 2yr old, and 4 month old, and we wanted another one? Course we all know three of my little ones are foster and will eventually(maybe, possibly, you never know) be going home.Course you  never know. With the baby she would be at least a six month or more placement. The boys, who knows. Another point was, could I handle four kiddos. I know that it was looking pretty good that we would have the boys for awhile so more than likely they would be here when we got a call for an adoptive placement, but I figured that Rick would be out of diapers by then. Hubby said it would be good practice so to speak and who knows, what if the little one became eligible for adoption?

So with mixed emotions we said yes. Well, my mixed emotions. She came the next day. Boy, is she a cutie pie. So for this blog we will call her Cutie. For the first twelve hours or so she was very fussy and wouldn’t eat very much. I was very worried. She has acid reflux and so I was thinking that might be the cause of her not eating. Now over 36 hours later she is doing very well and eating good. I think she just was overwhelmed by a new environment, people, smells, etc. We are settling in and will take it one day at a time. She slept really well the first night, so here’s to hoping she continues to sleep well. I love my sleep. Well I hear Cutie calling, until next time….

 

Three steps forward one step back February 13, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 1:00 am
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So tonight I am going to talk a little bit about Princess. She has come so far in the nearly two years that she has been in our family. She is my true Princess. I could not picture my life without her. She makes me laugh,smile, and appreciate every single day. She continues to amaze me with her strength and her genuine love towards everyone. I could not ask for a more wonderful daughter. There are times though that she becomes upset and cannot be consoled easily. Tonight was one of those nights.

It all started with homework. Homework for Princess can be very hard sometimes because she is EASILY frustrated. I dread homework each and every night. Believe me I try positive thinking every single day. She has come so far with learning to read and that for the most part goes really well now. But when she gets to a word she doesn’t know she shuts down. Those are times I let her take a break and just relax for a little bit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So homework didn’t go well and it just spiraled down from there. She didn’t like what we were eating tonight. She whined and complained. We asked her several times to try it and she refused. At that point I needed a break. I asked her to go to her room so we could both calm down. She threw a huge fit, yelling screaming, jumping on her bed. It was a rage that we hadn’t seen in a long time. After about twenty minutes(which is extremely short compared to when she first came home) I talked her her, held her and calmed her down. She right now is downstairs eating the dinner we fixed. Tonight gave me flash backs of when she would rage for hours, hitting, kicking and throwing whatever was in her way. Even though she threw a massive fit tonight I am still proud of her. She has come a long way.

As for me, there are times I just need to step away from the situation to calm down and take perspective of the situation.I just get so pent up inside sometimes. I am so glad she is doing so much better. We will have these days. We all have these days. We just need to count our blessings and take one day at a time. I know that sounds so cliche’ but it is so true.

As for the talking about the adoption I will post more on that later. Until next time…..

 

Beginnings take two February 6, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 1:10 am
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So after meeting this lady who we will call Michelle for the sake of this blog, we were very excited to research adoption through our agency. Hubby wanted us to wait six months and start saving, but I wanted so badly to get going with the process because you never know how long things are going to take. So we decided that I would meet with Michelle for lunch one day and also attend the adoption support group that she told me about.

I emailed Michelle and we met at a local sandwich shop to talk things over. She told me about her adoption journey and I asked several questions. I was even more excited after I spoke with her. Since we are open to race I think that our wait time could be shorter, you just never know. Michelle had a wealth of knowledge and I am so thankful for her and wanting to help us through this journey. So, I met her on Friday and then on Sunday I met with Michelle at the Adoption Support group. I was so nervous. I get nervous around a crowd that I do not know. Everyone was so nice. Although I didn’t learn much more that was Michelle had told me I felt like a part of an extended family with these ladies. I am sure that I will learn so much from them. 

After talking with Hubby for the next several days we decided to start the plunge and call our agency. My first step was to call our Foster Care Licensing Worker. I absolutely lover her. She has been wonderful the last two years. She is the one that calls us for new placements. I didn’t need to call her but it was a common courtesy to let her know what we are doing. I called her on Thursday January 31st. She was excited and we assured her that we were not done fostering. That was one of our fears that she would not call us for other placements when she knew we wanted to go the domestic adoption route. It could take up to few years before we would be able to be placed. She told me who to contact and I felt so much better letting her know. Our agency has been nothing but wonderful to us. So the following day I called the adoption worker at our agency. I will tell you about that call in my next post. Right now I am headed off to get my kiddos to bed. Sheldon has been sick today and I hope he can get some rest tonight. Until next time…..

 

Pics of Princess February 4, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 6:13 pm

Here are some pictures of Princess. I sure wish I could show you some of Rick and Sheldon, but due to privacy reason I cant. Hope you enjoyImageImageImageImage

 

So another journey begins:)

Filed under: Adoption,foster adopt,Foster Care,Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 6:09 pm
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So let me tell you about why we decided to go the domestic adoption route. First off we are still fostering our two little ones and will continue to foster while we go through the domestic adoption process. On January 10th we went to a foster parent support group meeting. This was our first meeting and I was so excited to get to meet new people and possibly make some new friends. Also, we get training hours if we attend and they also have childcare and dinner is provided. We met a several people and really enjoyed our evening. Once particular lady is currently fostering and she also just adopted an infant through our agencies domestic adoption program. I did not know before meeting her that you could do foster care and domestic at the same time. She also went on to tell me that the agency has a sliding scale fee when it comes to adoption expenses. She told me that her adoption was less than $14,000. I was stunned that she was able to adopt for that amount. I had always read it would be at least $20,000 plus. She said she was willing to meet me for lunch sometime to discuss the agencies program  and her experience in more detail.

Hubby and I had talked about going the domestic route but always thought that it was out of our budget, and I had always wanted to adopt through foster care anyway. We also were nervous because in the majority of adoptions nowadays the birthmother picks the adoptive family and I always thought that no one would pick us. But after talking to this wonderful lady we took some time to tall to each other and pray about it. For the next few weeks I was in research mode. This lady also told me about a great adoption support group that met once a month. At those meetings I could talk to women that were going through the process or had already adopted. So I did end up meeting this lady for lunch and attended my first adoption support group. I will tell you about that in my next post.

Anyway, Princess and Sheldon are starting to enter the realm of sibling rivalry. Yeah for that!!! Before Sheldon really just followed Princess and did what she asked. Now he is starting to talk back and have his own opinions. Which makes it fun for me. Both Sheldon and Rick have come so far since they came her nearly eight months ago. Its hard to imagine them not being apart of our family. Well, I am off to do some much needed laundry. Until next time….

 

To New Beginnings February 1, 2013

Filed under: Adoption,foster adopt,Foster Care,Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 1:39 am

Happy belated New Year:) We had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to whats to come in 2013. Hubby and I have decided that we are going to pursue private domestic adoption. I will tell you the whole story in another post but events lately have led up to this decision. Princess, Rick and Sheldon are all doing well and I will also update you on them in further detail later on. I just wanted to give you a quick update.  I am off now to do baths and tuck my little ones in bed. Hope all is well with everyone. Until next time……

 

 
My Real Kid: life as a transracial adoptive mom

(formerly known as Adopting Charlie)

Journey through Foster care and adoption

Journey to completing our family