Journey through Foster care and adoption

Journey to completing our family

So much to tell January 31, 2014

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So much has happened these last few months that it would be hard to tell it all in one post, but I am going to try and tell the main points. So here goes nothing. Several months ago we found out that Rick and Sheldon’s bio mom was pregnant to our major surprise. Initially we were told that the baby would be born at the end of January or early February. Also, it was not a guarantee that she would come into care. First things first Hubby and I had to discuss if when the time comes we decide on if we were going to take the baby. That would be five kiddos, a 9yr old, 4yr old, 3 yr old, 14 month old and then a newborn. I mean talk about chaos. But we knew right away that we would take the baby if the baby would come into care. We didn’t want the siblings split up and if there was ever a chance that the boys would be with us permanently we would want their sibling too. So we told the caseworker that we would accept placement if the baby were to come into care. Fast forward to November 27th, the day before Thanksgiving. The boys were going to have a visit and they were all ready to go when their case aid called and said that there would be not visit that day because bio mom had just had a baby girl!!!! I was shocked that she had the baby so early, which come to find out was not early at all but a full term baby girl. Long story short she was coming into care and she spent the first three weeks of her life in the NICU. On December 20th 2013 I went to pick up Little bit at the hospital. For the purpose of this blog her name with be called Little Bit or LB for short. She is a tiny little thing. So our family grew two more feet that day. She is the best baby ever, she sleeps well and doesn’t fuss that much. One thing that concerns me is she isn’t eating as much as she should and so they upped her calorie intake in her formula. So now we have LB and she is just a doll. But that doesn’t end our update what’s been happening. I will leave it at that for today but tomorrow I will tell you the rest of our story. Until next time……

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Long time….. November 13, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — ilovelucy72 @ 10:31 pm
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So I am not good at keeping an up to date blog, and in the blogging world that can be quite annoying. So sorry to all that read my blog. So much has happened in the last eight months. We still have Princess, Rick, Sheldon and Cutie. We are still pursuing domestic adoption. In June we went to a two day adoption training through our agency and met some really nice couples that also would be adopting. I really didn’t learn anything that I didn’t already know. I am an avid researcher so I learn a lot from that. We were put in the books so to speak after the class was over. Being “in the books” means that our agency will show our birth mother letter and picture to ladies that are considering an adoption plan. All four kiddos are doing well and we have settled in with everyone. Rick is giving me a run for my money with the terrible three’s. Cutie has grown by leaps and bounds, Sheldon is becoming more and more of a little gentleman, and Princess amazes me every day with how far she has come since we brought her home. I will update on each of the kids individually soon. Until next time…..

 

New Arrival February 22, 2013

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Two days ago I got the call that I was both dreading and hoping for at the same time. Our Licensing worker called with a new placement. Our dream placement, a four month old little girl. What could I say? We have just started the process for a domestic adoption and we were pretty settled with the three we have. I knew the call would come when we were all settled down and had our routines down pat. If you would have asked me six months ago I would have been 100% sure and extremely excited. But after she gave me the little one’s info I didn’t know whether to jump for joy or go running for the hills. I did the usual thing and called Hubby to tell him. He immediately said, “So you said yes right?”. Well I was having conflicting feelings. First off, how was this going to effect our chances to adopt. All my adoption worker said was that we needed to keep a “spot” open for a little one. Well, if we were to take this baby girl that would leave us with one spot. So that was fine, but how would the adoption worker take it? We would have an 8yr old, 4 yr old, 2yr old, and 4 month old, and we wanted another one? Course we all know three of my little ones are foster and will eventually(maybe, possibly, you never know) be going home.Course you  never know. With the baby she would be at least a six month or more placement. The boys, who knows. Another point was, could I handle four kiddos. I know that it was looking pretty good that we would have the boys for awhile so more than likely they would be here when we got a call for an adoptive placement, but I figured that Rick would be out of diapers by then. Hubby said it would be good practice so to speak and who knows, what if the little one became eligible for adoption?

So with mixed emotions we said yes. Well, my mixed emotions. She came the next day. Boy, is she a cutie pie. So for this blog we will call her Cutie. For the first twelve hours or so she was very fussy and wouldn’t eat very much. I was very worried. She has acid reflux and so I was thinking that might be the cause of her not eating. Now over 36 hours later she is doing very well and eating good. I think she just was overwhelmed by a new environment, people, smells, etc. We are settling in and will take it one day at a time. She slept really well the first night, so here’s to hoping she continues to sleep well. I love my sleep. Well I hear Cutie calling, until next time….

 

Three steps forward one step back February 13, 2013

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So tonight I am going to talk a little bit about Princess. She has come so far in the nearly two years that she has been in our family. She is my true Princess. I could not picture my life without her. She makes me laugh,smile, and appreciate every single day. She continues to amaze me with her strength and her genuine love towards everyone. I could not ask for a more wonderful daughter. There are times though that she becomes upset and cannot be consoled easily. Tonight was one of those nights.

It all started with homework. Homework for Princess can be very hard sometimes because she is EASILY frustrated. I dread homework each and every night. Believe me I try positive thinking every single day. She has come so far with learning to read and that for the most part goes really well now. But when she gets to a word she doesn’t know she shuts down. Those are times I let her take a break and just relax for a little bit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So homework didn’t go well and it just spiraled down from there. She didn’t like what we were eating tonight. She whined and complained. We asked her several times to try it and she refused. At that point I needed a break. I asked her to go to her room so we could both calm down. She threw a huge fit, yelling screaming, jumping on her bed. It was a rage that we hadn’t seen in a long time. After about twenty minutes(which is extremely short compared to when she first came home) I talked her her, held her and calmed her down. She right now is downstairs eating the dinner we fixed. Tonight gave me flash backs of when she would rage for hours, hitting, kicking and throwing whatever was in her way. Even though she threw a massive fit tonight I am still proud of her. She has come a long way.

As for me, there are times I just need to step away from the situation to calm down and take perspective of the situation.I just get so pent up inside sometimes. I am so glad she is doing so much better. We will have these days. We all have these days. We just need to count our blessings and take one day at a time. I know that sounds so cliche’ but it is so true.

As for the talking about the adoption I will post more on that later. Until next time…..

 

Beginnings take two February 6, 2013

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So after meeting this lady who we will call Michelle for the sake of this blog, we were very excited to research adoption through our agency. Hubby wanted us to wait six months and start saving, but I wanted so badly to get going with the process because you never know how long things are going to take. So we decided that I would meet with Michelle for lunch one day and also attend the adoption support group that she told me about.

I emailed Michelle and we met at a local sandwich shop to talk things over. She told me about her adoption journey and I asked several questions. I was even more excited after I spoke with her. Since we are open to race I think that our wait time could be shorter, you just never know. Michelle had a wealth of knowledge and I am so thankful for her and wanting to help us through this journey. So, I met her on Friday and then on Sunday I met with Michelle at the Adoption Support group. I was so nervous. I get nervous around a crowd that I do not know. Everyone was so nice. Although I didn’t learn much more that was Michelle had told me I felt like a part of an extended family with these ladies. I am sure that I will learn so much from them. 

After talking with Hubby for the next several days we decided to start the plunge and call our agency. My first step was to call our Foster Care Licensing Worker. I absolutely lover her. She has been wonderful the last two years. She is the one that calls us for new placements. I didn’t need to call her but it was a common courtesy to let her know what we are doing. I called her on Thursday January 31st. She was excited and we assured her that we were not done fostering. That was one of our fears that she would not call us for other placements when she knew we wanted to go the domestic adoption route. It could take up to few years before we would be able to be placed. She told me who to contact and I felt so much better letting her know. Our agency has been nothing but wonderful to us. So the following day I called the adoption worker at our agency. I will tell you about that call in my next post. Right now I am headed off to get my kiddos to bed. Sheldon has been sick today and I hope he can get some rest tonight. Until next time…..

 

Exhaustion sets in November 15, 2012

Well we have had Rosie for 5 days now and I can tell you that I am totally exhausted. The first few nights she did not sleep at all and then the third and fourth night she did great. Last night not so much. I am not used to getting up in the middle of the night so when the morning comes I would trade anything to have a few more hours of sleep. I guess the old saying comes to mind. “Be careful what you wish for”. I am truly happy that we have her but just really tired. Plus Rick has been a holy terror lately and that’s no fun.

On the bright side I now know whats it like to take care of a newborn. I didnt know if I would ever get that chance, plus she is a doll. If we were going to have her longer I totally would have went shopping by now. She has had frequent visits with bio mom, which I think is essential for her bonding, and those have been going great. I wish all parents worked as hard as Rosie’s mom. Well I just thought I would do a check in. I am off to bed. Until next time……

 

Rick’s 2nd Birthday October 30, 2012

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So earlier this month our little Rick turned two years old. He had a Cookie Monster themed birthday party.I made this cake for Rick and everyone else had cookie monster cupcakes. In our family, for the birthdays everyone gets a homemade cake. Princess’s cake  was a Power Ranger Samurai cake which she loved. Rick’s and Princess’s birthdays are about a month apart so it was a busy couple of weeks. We had family come over for Rick’s birthday and we ordered pizza. He loved his birthday cake and dived right in. I wish I could post pictures of what he looked liked

He did well opening gifts and was in a really good mood. I went online to Etsy and got him a shirt with his name, age and a picture of Cookie monster on it. Adorable!!!! By they time bed time rolled around he was ready to hit the hay. He had a visit with his parents the very next day. I wonder if they celebrated his birthday? I didn’t ask the visit supervisor because I usually just ask how the visits went. His response is most always, “good”. Part of me feels sad that his parents are missing out on the milestones that he is reaching. He is talking so much more then when he first came to us. They are missing so many firsts. That’s the way I feel about Princess’s bio mom too. She will miss her daughters childhood and it just is very upsetting at times. I am so blessed to have Princesses and the boys in my life. I pray for all their biological parents and that they find peace in their situations. For the boys I know that it is up to their parents to step up and work their case plan as quickly as possible so they won’t have to miss these precious moments. Will they do it? I don’t know. But in the meantime I will cherish every moment with these precious boys. Until next time……

 

 
My Real Kid: life as a transracial adoptive mom

(formerly known as Adopting Charlie)

Journey through Foster care and adoption

Journey to completing our family